erbie | Recent Entries

Conversation in the car this morning:

Edgar: K (babysitter's 19 yo daughter) said fucking on the phone.
Me: o_0
E: Fucking is a bad word.
M: That's not really a word for kids to say.
E: But K said fucking. Why can't kids say fucking?
M: Well, nobody should really say it. It's not a nice word to say.
E: But K said fucking on the phone. Fucking is a bad word. Why did K say fucking?
M: [silently] OMG! Stop saying it already! Aaaaagh! Must not laugh hysterically!
M: [has to wait a moment to compose herself] I don't know sweetie. Let's not say it anymore.
E: Look! A schoolbus!

What a fascinating time in a mother's life is having a fourth grader. I was woken up this morning by some very interesting questions.

"Mama. Mama. Mama, would you have ridden in the front of the bus?" "Huh?" "The front of the bus. You know, how I would have had to be in the back of the bus? Would you have ridden in the front?"

This led to a discussion of how back when I was born, my marriage was illegal. It took a minute for the literal mind of the nine year old to wrap around the *if I were an adult at that time* part. First thing she said was "You couldn't get married when you were born. You were a baby!"

I'm in unfamiliar territory here. I grew up as a girl and woman, but I didn't grow up as a non-white girl and woman. There's a whole lot more sexualization and exoticness assigned to an Asian female child and I didn't and don't experience that, so I don't know how to guide her through it either. Despite my girls being half white, they will grow up being assigned the ethnicity of Asian, Chinese, Other, Exotic. Given Bob's beauty, this will be compounded. I also did not grow up as a stunning beauty, so a lot of that kind of attention was not directed my way. She already gets that, and has since she was an infant. The first thing a stranger says to me when I'm out with her is how beautiful she is. I don't know how to respond most of the time. Yes, she's gorgeous, but she's also a child who deserves not to be summed up by that alone, not to have her appearance be the only thing that people notice.

I guess I don't really have a cogent point here, which kind of sums up where I am on both issues.

Happy birthday

lietya!

ANOTHER person I know has been struck with cancer. WTF? Bob's teacher for next year had breast cancer several years ago and has been okay since. In May, she found a lump in her neck, which is metastatic cancer. Since she had breast cancer before menopause, it's most likely the kind with the genetic component, which is bad. She's around my age and has four kids, the youngest of whom is in 4th or 5th grade. She's always wanted to live abroad, but never had the chance. Now, she wants to take her daughter to Paris for two weeks this summer, before she starts treatment again. Our school is trying to collect money to get them there. She's a wonderful teacher, from what I've heard from the parents who have kids she's taught. I'm hoping very hard for her to be okay and at the very least, for her to be able to take this trip with her daughter. Please send any good thoughts to her if you can.

To borrow a meme from Shakesville: I Write Letters

Dear Mark and Brian Radio Program:

I realize that you're not a "safe space" for listeners, and you're not what I would exactly call feminists. I still listen to you because you're usually pretty funny and your subject matter isn't usually offensive. However, this morning, when you were giving away front row Sting tickets, and you had five callers vying for them with "talent," you really crossed the line. Caller five sang a song she and her friends had made up in high school about a girl from a rival high school. The song was so disgusting, so full of hatred, misogyny and racism, I'm really not sure I can forgive you for not only not bleeping her use of a racial slur for Chinese people, but then not disqualifying her and telling her that you don't allow that kind of thing on your show. AND THEN! AND THEN! You spun the wheel of digits and awarded her front row Sting tickets! For singing a song about a teenager who likely did nothing more than go to a rival school while Asian and likely attractive, to engender the level of jealousy that would cause someone to make something like that up. I'm thoroughly disgusted with you for not speaking up, and not banning her from ever receiving anything from your program. I'm not going to get into the whole sexualization of the Asian woman/exotic body because you won't get it and probably will tell me it was all in fun. But I could hear the shock in your nervous chuckles after she finished. You should have stepped up and said what you likely were thinking. If the girl in the song had been black and the singer had used the n-word, I'm pretty sure you would have bleeped her and hung up on her. The word she used, though it has a different history, carries the same hatred and racism.

In the future, please don't allow this kind of offensive racist, sexist crap to be aired on your show. I've been listening to you for over 20 years and I'd be bummed to have to find a new morning show, but I can't abide this kind of thing. It has no place on the radio.

erbie

ETA: I sent a modified version of this to both the Mark and Brian show and the station that airs it in my area, and the program director wrote me back saying that he agrees with me and will make sure it never happens again. :)

Okay, now I need help choosing new frames. After holding steady for five years, my distance scrip has changed a bit. I want something funky. I have two pairs of Lulu Guiness reading glasses, and I could use one of them, (burgundy), but that would leave me without a backup for my readers, even though the second scrip is out of date. It'd be better than nothing though, if I lost my primaries (the tortoise version of this. Surprisingly, the readers have stayed the same scrip. Yay!

I like these. Tried them on in black, but it's too dark for me. They didn't have the rose or brown to get a sense of the actual color. Looking at them at this site, the rose looks good, but I don't know what the actual color is. I don't want something that's pink.

These are also cute, but they didn't have them at all, so I couldn't try them on.

They don't carry all designers or lines, but my optometrist said if I find one I like and she can order it, she will. So if you have any links to funky glasses in the same general shape (butterfly, rectangular) as the ones above, let me know. I want something in the brown or tortoise range, but I'm open to something in other colors as well. I think black is too dark for my coloring, but just about anything lighter could work. Red's probably not good either. What I really like about the two I have is the interesting tamples. I'm not usually someone who likes sparkly stuff, but I really like the sparkles in the flowers in the first one and the mesh in the second one. Oh, and I don't like the temples to be so wide that they obscure my peripheral vision.

ETA: These look pretty cute too.

And now I've found a line called FYSH UK and oh man do they have some cool/funky frames! I like this one and this one and this one and this one, and this one, but in brown, not that hot pink!

Dear people who don't know what the fuck they're talking about:

This whole "breastfeeding mothers need to be considerate of others because nobody wants to see you flapping your breasts at them," "you have to be discreet," "show some consideration," "what about the chiiiiillllldruuuuuun?" bullshit is exactly that. Bullshit. Have you EVER seen a woman flash her breasts at you while breastfeeding? IT'S A STRAWMAN, and it's anti-feminist and it's another way to silence women.

I would bet you a LOT of money that I have seen more women breastfeeding than you have. (Unless you're a lactation consultant.) I have nursed both of my children well into their preschool years and I have sought out the company of other breastfeeding mothers. I have helped my cousins and friends breastfeed their babies. I have NEVER ONCE seen a breastfeeding mother flapping their breasts in the breeze. In fact, I have seen a nipple exactly four times, and those were all people I knew well and were either in their home or the hospital. I would also bet you a lot of money that you have seen a whole lot more women breastfeeding than you realized. When mine were infants, I was CONSTANTLY approached because the person wanted to "see the face of the sleeping baby" when in actuality that baby was sucking on my breast. With my oldest, I walked around malls and ate at restaurants and went to Disney World and department stores and parks and anywhere I wanted to go and that child was breastfeeding the whole time. And nobody knew. Because that's how it looks. You see more breast on magazine covers and billboards than you see when a mother is breastfeeding. And guess what? Most of us aren't all that concerned that your precious eyes will be scarred by catching a glimpse of a sliver of boob. Because we're more focused on getting the baby latched on before they start screaming, which I guarantee you creates more of a ruckus than sitting on a bench nursing. And you'd have to be staring pretty hard to see anything anyway, since the baby's head covers most of the breast.

There's a REALLY simple way to avoid seeing the breasts of a woman who is nursing her baby. Stop staring so hard! And take your strawman and your attempts at oppressing women and shove them up your ass. Don't try to tell me it's anything other than anti-feminist bullshit.

SRSLY, STFU.

Erbie

< /rant>

ETA: I had cut it, but I changed my mind.

I realize that I have been remiss in keeping you all up to date on my friend V and her partner A. A is doing pretty well. She's had several months of chemo and, while it's not fun, she's doing okay with it. The intestinal cancer has not returned. The liver cancer has not grown significantly, but it hasn't shrunk either. She's going to have needle radiation in a couple weeks. She's had a few of the worst chemo drugs stopped, because the side effects were too much, but that doesn't seem to have been a problem as far as treatment. She has another four months of chemo ahead of her. She had a scan last week because she'd been getting headaches and they were afraid it had spread to her brain, but her brain is clear. The headaches are likely a side effect of the chemo she's on, as that's one of the known side effects. So she's doing okay, hanging in there, keeping a positive attitude and outlook.

OTOH, V's boss, my friend K, has just been diagnosed with lung cancer. She had surgery today and they think they got it all. It was pretty hardcore, with them opening her chest. They also took some lymph glands, to be safe. They don't know yet what her prognosis is or her treatment plan. The good news is that it's not small cell, which, from what I understand, is the really virulent one. She's also keeping a positive outlook and is determined to beat it and be healthy. Any good thoughts or prayers going her way and V's way would be much appreciated.

Happy birthday

chavvah!

I really can't stand Dear Prudence. And yet, once again, I'm reading her column. I think in the first question, she pretty much gets it right, for once. Aside from the first sentence of her answer (unless she's talking about the writer, not the person she's writing about. It's not really clear.

Young adult is offended by late-30s woman not acting decrepit and daring to have a career in a "youth-oriented business."

What the hell? Since when is being in one's late 30s and acting like a young, vibrant, successful person creepy? I have friends that range in age from early 20s to late 70s, and at work, there's no difference between how I relate to them based on that. I predict a short career at their current employer for "Young and Able" if they're planning on confronting someone with their age and being all offended about it.

Maybe I just don't get it because I'm a creepy 42 year old who still acts the same as she did in her 20s and thinks she can be friends with a 20 year old.

(SRSLY, WTF?)

The bear. What is that little fly-thing? I saw it. [The dragonfly at the restaurant?] No, the fly-thing here. I don't like Sunny Patch, cause it has bugs. I don't like bugs that are real.

One time there was a dragonbug. And then there was a silly eyeball bug. Then there was a curtain ring bug. And then there was spot bugs. And then they were some butterfly bugs. And then they were some hambugs. [ham bugs?] Hand bugs. Mano bugs. (Goes off into a tangent in Spanish about pinatas that I didn't quite follow.) Then there was a pinata hanging on a branch with a rope holding onto it, tied up on a branch. The end.

ETA: This is a story from the mind of an almost four year old. The comments [in square brackets] are me talking and the parentheticals are narration.

I'm gonna do mine about the pengoo-ins. K?

Once upon a time, there was a big pengoo-in. A bigger pengoo-in in the whole wide world. And then there was a big giant, giant, giant, giant, giant, and one more giant, octopus who was getting out of the sea and trying to eat that big big pengoo-in, but he had freezed that blue cold and he had die power so he maked him die and he was freeze cold. Then they arrived home. They were happily ever after. The end.

Heh.

And the alternate ending:

And then they arrived happily ever after. They were married cuz they were people now. They were huuuuuuman. Then they arrived happily ever after. The end.

I know stories about a kitty too.

Once upon a time, there was a big giant kitty. The kitty was eating all the porridges and last time there was bears in there.

Here's one about a pillow.
Once upon a time, there was a big giant pillow and she was eating all the porridges. The end.

Once upon a time there was a big big big BIG big big big big giant eyeball. [three minute laughing fit] And then the big big big eyeball was hidden in a forest. A big huge huge huge huge huge huge forest. And then there was a long long path to get out of the forest. Then there was more porridge and the eyeball and the hitter was gonna go to do the porridges, but there's bears taking a bath. They was eating all the porridges. Then they was arrived out and they did not even saw anybody eating the porridge, but te porridges bowl were empties. The end.

Then they were doing something cool. Then they were doing something cool. Cool, cool, cool. Cool too. More cool too. Then they was playing along in the garden. They found a little chickmunk. Then they arrived at the museum with the little chickmunk home. Then he was all comfy and warm. Then the gramma bear arrived at home, but nobody was at home. That's why she decided to check on the chickmunk if he was here. The end.

Once upon a time, there was a sea and a seahorse. The seahorse was in the ocean. The ocean was faring down. Then, they were off to see the wizard. The ocean was off to see the wizard and the seahorse, but they could not even get out. Then, they was stuck. They could not even get out by reaching the wall. Then they were down at the sea, they were shrinking. Why they were shrinking? They arrived at the museum. Then they were looking at books of the ocean. Then they were heading back home, but they could not get in because there was more water. The water had to get in and then the seahorse had to go in. The End.

No editorializing on my part, just typing what comes out of her mouth.

My Trip to Africa
One day I was at Africa, and I saw a big bear. And then he was scary. And nice. And then he was nice and grumpy and scary. And then I was walking with the bear because the bear was my friend. And then I saw a big restaurant full of people and I was a people and the bear was not a people so I had to go in the but the bear was not have to go in. Then I was eating along, but suddenly there's a lot more people coming in. they wanted my spot. Then I was calling the bear to scare them away. Cause he's grumpy and nice and he's mad and he is so so so so so so so so so so so so so so angry. (Editor: Why is he so angry?) Cause he's my friend and he's angry. Cause he's crying because he love me. Then he was crying because he much more loves me. Then there was a big mama bear and the little bear was a baby bear. The papa bear was so angry. Then they was taking the baby bear home and I was saying no no nononononononononononononononononono. And then? Then he had a flash and I was calling him on my flash phone. Then he had to go. He did not even tell he's parents that he just let goed of he's parentses hand. But he was not even listening. So. He was SOOOO angry and SOOOO mad. The mommy and daddy. Then, they were alive home. The end.

Bears!
Once up on a time, there was a BIG big BIG forest and there was a lot of animals in it. Bears, tigers, lions. Tigers, bears. Mama bear, Papa bear, Baby bear, gramma bear, sister bear, brother bear. Okay. A cake for Mama bear, sister bear, papa bear, baby bear, brother bear, gramma bear. An auntie bear and papa bear. Papa bear. And Ye-Ye bear. The end.

OMG, my MOM friended me on Facebook! I think she's in for a few surprises!

New heights in creepy when Ben backed away. Heh. Beautifully acted, that.

OMG the cute! Look at the little worried faces on the babies! I think I'm DED of the CUTE! But I want to know if they're friendly, like if you try to pet them, will they nuzzle and purr or will they bite your finger off?

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erbie

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It's friends with the slug!

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Thursday night story, with extra super alternate ending

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