erbie: (earth)
2009-07-16 12:07 pm
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(no subject)

I would just like to let you all know that you don't have to worry about the asteroid that may or may not kill us all in 27 years, that we won't know if it will or won't for another 20, because Bob has decided that she is going to be a rocket scientist and figure out how to save us from asteroidal annihilation. Isn't she thoughtful?
erbie: (bf_drawing)
2008-10-16 09:49 am

(no subject)

The best part of nursing a toddler is not what you'd think. I mean, sure, the bonding is great, the immunological benefits increase with time, nutrition-wise, it's still the most perfect food for growing brains and bodies, it's an instant meltdown-tamer and owie-soother. All those things are wonderful. But no, the true best part of nursing a child who can talk is that they can talk to you about nursing.

When Bob was about Edgar's age, two and a half, I asked her what the milk tasted like. She said it tasted like fresh air.

Last night, I was nursing Edgar and she popped off, pointed to the breast she'd been nursing on and said "I don't want that one anymore. It's too spicy. I want that one," pointing to the other one. She switched sides and latched on and I asked her if that one was spicy too. She at first smiled and shook her head no,but about a minute later, she popped off and said "This one is spicy too. It's okay though. I like it."

Yes, folks, I have spicy breasts. And I'd never have known that if I didn't nurse my kids until they could talk.
erbie: (cassatt)
2007-06-04 10:23 am
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(no subject)

Every once in a while, there's a glimmer of getting it right, parenting-wise.

Last night, [ profile] llnaughty and I were in the living room with Edgar asleep on me. Bob came into the room and whispered in [ profile] llnaughty's ear. He asked her if he could tell me and she at first said no, but then he explained that it was about me as well, and she then said yes. She had told him that she feels like Edgar gets more attention than she does and it makes her feel like we love Edgar more and her less. I'm so proud of her being able to articulate that at five years old. I think it shows a real emotional intelligence for her to be able to put it to words, and also for her to come to us and tell us.

She never takes it out on Edgar; she always tells us how she's feeling. That's not to say she doesn't still have her moments (Friday evening was a doozy, meltdowns from the time she got home to the time she went to bed, fighting sleep, general misery all around). But then she has these shining moments of insight into her own feelings that would surprise me on an adult, but astound me on a five year old.
erbie: (beeker)
2007-03-05 09:50 am
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(no subject)

I'm the best parent EVAH!

Overhead in the [ profile] erbie car this morning:

Me: Grrr! Move, you idiot!
Bob: ...
Me: ...
Five minutes later:
Bob: Mama? What does idiot mean?
Me: It's a not nice word that Mama shouldn't have said.
Bob: You still didn't tell me what it means.

*bows* No need for applause.

(Hey, at leat she didn't *already* know what it meant!)
erbie: (edgarpiller)
2007-02-03 05:35 pm
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(no subject)

The scene: Driving to a local coffee house to get coffee with Bob

Interior of car

Bob is looking at a random piece of paper upon which she has drawn two lines. She notices a very tiny green caterpiller crawling on it.

Bob: Aaaagh! Mama! A worm!
Me: What? Where?
Bob: On the paper! Aaaaaagh!
Me: Okay, give it to me. [looks] That's not a worm, it's a caterpiller.

I take it from her and, not wanting to just dump it out in the street to a certain death, find a place to pull over and put it on a bush. We then continue on our way.

Bob: I don't like caterpillers!
Me: Why not? They turn into butterflies.

[discussion of caterpillers, moths, butterflies, what type of butterfly or moth that particular caterpiller would turn into, involving speculation on what type of butterfly a pink caterpiller with yellow spots would turn into.]

[Arrival at coffee house, parking car, getting out and walking toward the building]

[Bob is wiping her eyes on the corner of my jacket]

Me: Why are you wiping your eyes on my jacket?
Bob: [obviously] My hands are dirty! I touched the caterpiller!
Me: Caterpillers aren't all that dirty sweetie.
Bob: [exasperated] Uh! It's friends with the slug!
erbie: (wtf)
2007-01-26 11:49 am
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If it's not Scottish it's CRAP!

This morning, I put on my jeans, a white Old Navy polo-style shirt and a magenta fleece v-neck sweater. I was looking in the mirror, fixing my collar when my five year old wandered in to the room to admire herslef in the mirror. She got in between me and the mirror, looked at herself, did a couple of poses and then pronounced herself looking "like a high school girl" in her skirt, starry tights, and long-sleeved shirt with striped cami over it. She then deigned to look up at me, pointed to my white collar sticking out of my sweater and said "That doesn't look good. It makes you look Scottish."
erbie: (ack)
2006-12-31 07:56 pm
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teaching her right

I'm in the living room. The rest of the family has gone to the bedroom to put on Robin Hood before bed. I hear my husband say a commonly used expletive for solid waste. My five year old then pipes up with "Shit? Shit. This is not the occasion to say 'shit'!"

At least she has her priorities right.
erbie: (smilecat)
2006-05-21 11:30 am
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Last night, Bob was requesting a certain Sarah McLachlan song in the car thusly:

"Please serve up an order of Stupid!"

Today, while playing alphabet Go Fish with her daddy:

"I've been dying to get rid of this 'I'!"
erbie: (smilecat2)
2006-01-15 11:45 am
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(no subject)

My daughter just told me she's pregnant too, and her husband's name is Marthdan Looter King.
erbie: (wtf)
2006-01-15 11:32 am
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(no subject)

My daughter appears to be singing a Japanese pop song.
erbie: (beeker)
2005-07-08 08:09 pm
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Conversations with Bob

Yesterday, I took the day off and spent it with Bob, because her school was closed. Here are a couple of tibits from our conversations:

Me: You have used really polite manners while we've been eating lunch. I appreciate that. It helps me have a nice time eating in a restaurant with you.
Bob: Blah blah blah blah blah.

Bob (shaking head at me): You can't wash your car with tea, Mama.
Me: Okaaaaaay
Bob (sternly): So don't EVER do it again!
Me: Are you talking to me?
Bob: No, I'm talking to Mango. (her imaginary friend, or the spirit that follows her around, we can't decide.)
erbie: (cassatt)
2005-07-06 11:16 am
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(no subject)

Bob was apparently dreaming about food this morning. She was whining a little and said "But I don't LIKE raisins!" About 5 minutes later, she was almost crying and she said "I don't have any food! I don't have anything on my plate." I told her I'd get her something and then I said "Here you go, here's some food" and then she quieted down and slept more. Poor kid. First she's getting raisins, which she doesn't like, and then she has no food.
erbie: (sphappy)
2005-06-30 07:55 am
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Elephants: A birthday conversation:

Bob: You know what I'm going to get you for your birthday Mama?
Mama: What, Sweetie?
Bob: A *new* elephant.
Mama: A new elephant?
Bob: Yes, because your elephant broke.
Mama: Oh, I'd *love* a new elephant!
Bob: It's a stuffed animal elephant.
Mama: Oh! I thought you meant a real elephant!
Bob: Mama! A real elephant won't fit in our house!
Mama: Yeah, you're probably right.
Bob: (looks around) Actually it would fit in here. This room is big. But it's a baby elephant.
Mama: Oh I love baby elephants.
Bob: It's a tiny stuffed elephant, but it will change into a real elephant. I tiny elephant, this big. (motions about the size of a loaf of bread)
erbie: (sphappy)
2005-06-28 04:51 pm
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Random Bob quote

While discussing cats with my mom, and the fact that they sometimes cough up a big chunk of nastiness:

Bob: I like cats. But sometimes they have hairballs, and that's kinda yucky.
Mom: They have hairballs, huh?
Bob: Yeah. I *know* hairballs.
erbie: (cassatt)
2005-03-20 07:52 pm
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And I thought I had a toddler, not a teenager

In the car the other day:

Me: said something about my brothers, P and C, being brothers of each other too.
Bob: No. (You know the one, like a 13 year old, with the elongated o that rises at the end)
Me: Yes they are. P is C's brother and C is P's brother, just like they are both Mama's brothers.
Bob: No they're not!
Me: Yes. They are.
[ profile] llnaughty: *snicker*
Bob: NO! They are not! They are only your brothers!
Me: No they're not, silly, they're each other's brothers too. P is C's brother and C is P's brother too.
Bob: *long-suffering sigh* (crossing arms) Fine! I'm not talking to you any MORE!
Me and [ profile] llnaughty: Ahahahahaha!
erbie: (cassatt)
2005-03-05 08:16 pm
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Random Bobness

This morning, [ profile] llnaughty and I were talking and Bob runs in from the other room and yells "Freebird!" at us.

I swear, this kid is reincarnated from some hippy from the 70's.
erbie: (cassatt)
2005-01-25 04:25 pm
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Cuteness alert

Bob: "Mama, I like your sparkly eyes that sparkle."
erbie: (cassatt)
2005-01-20 08:11 pm
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(no subject)

My child just told me out of the blue that she wants to be a booboo for Halloween next year.

A "booboo" is one of her mama's breasts.

That's my girl! She wants to be a breast for Halloween. Oh, and with a mask. Heh.
erbie: (Default)
2005-01-07 07:43 pm
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(no subject)

We're watching this lame show on IFN, and the guy said "Hasta la vista Baby", and Bob piped up "Hasta Mañana".