erbie: (Edgar Eye)
What a fascinating time in a mother's life is having a fourth grader. I was woken up this morning by some very interesting questions.

"Mama. Mama. Mama, would you have ridden in the front of the bus?" "Huh?" "The front of the bus. You know, how I would have had to be in the back of the bus? Would you have ridden in the front?"

This led to a discussion of how back when I was born, my marriage was illegal. It took a minute for the literal mind of the nine year old to wrap around the *if I were an adult at that time* part. First thing she said was "You couldn't get married when you were born. You were a baby!"

I'm in unfamiliar territory here. I grew up as a girl and woman, but I didn't grow up as a non-white girl and woman. There's a whole lot more sexualization and exoticness assigned to an Asian female child and I didn't and don't experience that, so I don't know how to guide her through it either. Despite my girls being half white, they will grow up being assigned the ethnicity of Asian, Chinese, Other, Exotic. Given Bob's beauty, this will be compounded. I also did not grow up as a stunning beauty, so a lot of that kind of attention was not directed my way. She already gets that, and has since she was an infant. The first thing a stranger says to me when I'm out with her is how beautiful she is. I don't know how to respond most of the time. Yes, she's gorgeous, but she's also a child who deserves not to be summed up by that alone, not to have her appearance be the only thing that people notice.

I guess I don't really have a cogent point here, which kind of sums up where I am on both issues.
erbie: (earth)
I would just like to let you all know that you don't have to worry about the asteroid that may or may not kill us all in 27 years, that we won't know if it will or won't for another 20, because Bob has decided that she is going to be a rocket scientist and figure out how to save us from asteroidal annihilation. Isn't she thoughtful?
erbie: (wtfcat)
My poor girl had to have a tooth pulled yesterday. She had an abscess in the same spot she'd had one before and had a root canal on her baby molar. This time, the dentist said that the new tooth is right there ready to come in, and that we'd be coming back every few weeks to retreat the abscess, so we should just pull the tooth. Much terror and novacaine ensued. Poor kid. Afterward, she said it didn't hurt, she was just really scared. I held her hand the whole time and helped hold her jaw down so she wouldn't bite the dentist's finger off. Then I went to the great Jewish deli and got her chicken and rice soup without the chicken for lunch.

On the way home from daycare, Edgar said "When I grow up, I gonna go to the dentist and have a tooth pulled out." [ profile] llnaughty please correct the wording, since I wasn't there.
erbie: (smilecat2)
Last night, upon arriving home, Bob promptly barfed on our carport neighbor's parking space. She has today off school, and she was supposed to go with Edgar to her daycare and hang out with Edgar's caregiver's teenage daughters, but I didn't want her to get anyone there sick, especially the babies. So I kept her home with me and I worked from home. I had a doctor appointment because I have, of all things, an ear infection, and while we were driving there, we had a lovely moment in the car.

I turned on the radio and the station it was on happened to be playing John Lennon's (Just Like) Starting Over. I was singing along and she started to ask me to put on a CD she likes, but I said "I really like this song. Let's listen to it and then I'll put on your song." She said okay, and I caught her bopping along to it a few times in the mirror. After it ended, it went right into John Lennon's version of "Stand By Me." Bob asked me again to listen to the CD, and I said "Oh, this is a really great song! I think you'll like it. Let's listen to it for a sec and see and if you don't, I'll put on the CD." She agreed, and I didn't hear anything from the back as we drove along. At the next light, I turned around and she was smiling from ear to ear and dancing a little in her seat. She asked me who it was and I told her it was John Lennon, and he was in the Beatles, whom she loves, but these were songs of his that he had done after the Beatles broke up. She asked me all about him and was sad to hear that he was dead, and was slightly puzzled by how he could be having a birthday today if he was dead. And she asked me if we could buy his CD. :) So cool that my little seven year old feels an instant connection to music that was recorded 22 years before she was born. I only remember when Starting Over came out, because they had played it constantly on the radio the summer before Lennon was killed.

As soon as we got home, I downloaded Lennon Legend. I can't seem to find the iPod cable and my work laptop, which has my iTunes collection, doesn't have working speakers. Drat!
erbie: (Sad Cat)
My poor baby.

Bob had two areas on her upper gums that were swelling and red, looking like abcesses. [ profile] llnaughty took her to the dentist this morning and she had nerve infections in both and had to have two root canals. Poor kid. And it looks like she inherited her mama's diminished sensitivity to Novocaine, because she wasn't entirely numb. I wish I could have been there with her to hold her and help her through it.

On the upside, maybe now she will take us seriously when we tell her what happens when you don't take care of your teeth. Her response previously, even after seeing pics of rotting teeth, has been "I don't care" but I bet we won't even have to remind her to brush now. :(
erbie: (cassatt)
Every once in a while, there's a glimmer of getting it right, parenting-wise.

Last night, [ profile] llnaughty and I were in the living room with Edgar asleep on me. Bob came into the room and whispered in [ profile] llnaughty's ear. He asked her if he could tell me and she at first said no, but then he explained that it was about me as well, and she then said yes. She had told him that she feels like Edgar gets more attention than she does and it makes her feel like we love Edgar more and her less. I'm so proud of her being able to articulate that at five years old. I think it shows a real emotional intelligence for her to be able to put it to words, and also for her to come to us and tell us.

She never takes it out on Edgar; she always tells us how she's feeling. That's not to say she doesn't still have her moments (Friday evening was a doozy, meltdowns from the time she got home to the time she went to bed, fighting sleep, general misery all around). But then she has these shining moments of insight into her own feelings that would surprise me on an adult, but astound me on a five year old.
erbie: (Edgar Eye)
So it looks like the insurance wants to fix the car, rather than total it. I'm happy and sad about that. Happy because I love my car, but sad because I don't know if I'll ever feel safe in it. We may look into trading both our cars in for something else. They're both paid off and we're not really in a position where we can afford a car payment at this point. Trade-in value on both cars together might just cover a new car. We like the Mazda5 we have on rental right now. It's so much more family friendly than the Forester, now that we have two kids and sometimes want to transport more people than just us. Sliding doors rock! I do have high praise for Subaru's designers though! We were hit at 40 mph and none of us has more than a few achey muscles. The car needs over 5k of repairs, but it did what it was supposed to do and protected us all, from the 17 lb infant to the [number redacted]-lb adults. Also big love goes out to Britax for their phenomenal carseats. And also to all my CPST friends and listmates whose advice caused us to make the choices we made in carseats, and to be so completely anal about them that they were properly installed and used. They undoubtedly saved Edgar's life, and likely prevented Bob from spending some serious time in the hospital, if not outright saved her life.

We took the kids back to the ped yesterday and they both checked out fine. We also both went in and saw our doctors. Mine took x-rays and offered me meds which I don't want to take because I'm still nursing. [ profile] llnaughty's took x-rays and offered him PT as well as muscle relaxants and high dose ibu. (I think I like his better. She did a much more thorough exam and seemed a lot more compassionate. I think I'll change to her.)

Thanks to everyone for your kind words. It means a lot to know that we have so many people who care about us, many of whom we've never even met.
erbie: (stewie)
Grr. Afterschool program teacher has been making Bob wear her sweater when they play outside. I trust her to know whether she's cold or not. The kid is five years old, fer crissakes. I already had a conversation with one teacher, and it was passed on to her main afterschool teacher, who made a point to tell [ profile] llnaughty that she doesn't force the kids to wear sweaters. Apparently it didn't make it to the other one, who is in charge after the first one leaves, for an hour before I get there to pick her up. So now I have to have the conversation with the other one. It's so obvious to me that you don't force a child to wear a jacket, it's hard for me to come up with an explanation that doesn't sound snarky. It's not like it's 40 degrees out. It's in the mid to high 60's and she's running around like a fiend, and she gets hot. I figure she'll put it back on it she gets cold. I've done this with her since she was a toddler. She knows her body, not the teacher. I hate having to do this.
erbie: (Edgar Eye)
Next Tuesday, Edgar will be nine months adjusted, and the following Monday, she'll be 11 months chronological. She's growing and smiling and lighting up our lives. She rolls well from back to front and front to back. She sits very well. She pulls herself to standing whenever hands are offered to steady her. She gets on her hands and knees and rocks back and forth, a precursor to crawling. If you put her on the floor and move away, she will not be in the same place when you return. She's endlessly fascinated with her big sister. Any time Bob is around, she wiggles and squirms and squeals and smiles. She saves her best and easiest laughs for Sister. She is starting to clearly prefer Mama over Dada, but she definitely adores that funny Dada too.

I love the relationship between my two girls. They clearly adore each other. Bob has shown VERY few signs of jealousy. At the beginning there were a few issues with my time being spent at the hospital, but mostly, it's been a big love-fest with those two. Sometimes Bob doesn't want me to use her blankets with Edgar, or she wants to sit on my lap when Edgar is nursing, but there's no hitting, no pushing, nothing more than a little whining that she wants to be on my lap. We respect that the blankets that were hers before Edgar came are still hers and we find one that's ours or Edgars. She doesn't mind Edgar wearing all her baby clothes because "they're baby clothes, Mama! I can't fit in those!" Probably 98% of Edgar's clothes were Bob's. (Good thing I saved them!) Other than that, they are just completely enamored of each other.

She's a happy baby. I know most babies are described that way, but she really is. She is mellow and smiley just about all the time. The only times she's not are when she's hungry, sleepy, in the car, or needs a diaper changed. Or when I'm around and I don't rescue her from the horrific state of Not Being Held By The Mama. She looks very serenely at the world and everyone in it. I've only ever seen her scared by my cousin's kitty (which was one of our foster kittens, the teeny orange one in these pics, and is now 18 lbs. )and a couple loud noises. She adores the neighbors' dogs, a fluffy Pom and a gorgeous German Shepherd.

She babbles up a storm when you get her going. Say "Ta" or "Da" to her and she starts repeating it over and over, sounding a little bit like Cartman: "Teh teh teh". She's saying dada, though not with any indication that it refers to her Dada.

She loves, and I mean LOVES solid foods. Any time I'm holding her and eating, she swipes at my fork and tries to get it. She lunges for the spoon when we give her solids. She smacks her lips and makes chewing motions when we're eating and not feeding her too. I need to start bringing stuff with me when we go out because she always wants to eat something too. Her favorites are pears and carrots, but she likes pretty much anything you give her. She's starting to develop the pincer grasp and will be getting some Cheerios to try soon. No teeth yet though, which is good because her dismount from nursing includes chomping down, pulling and stretching before finally letting go, and that will not feel good with teeth involved!

I'm constantly struck by how much I'm loving being a mom of a baby this time. I know more about baby care and babies in general and my parenting philosophy is well set this time around. Every day, I look at this child and am so grateful that she's here with us. I enjoy every moment with her. I'm sad that her first year is almost over and she's not ever going to be this small again, while at the same time, I look forward to every new thing she does, every new development, every day with her. She's a total joy.
erbie: (beeker)
I'm the best parent EVAH!

Overhead in the [ profile] erbie car this morning:

Me: Grrr! Move, you idiot!
Bob: ...
Me: ...
Five minutes later:
Bob: Mama? What does idiot mean?
Me: It's a not nice word that Mama shouldn't have said.
Bob: You still didn't tell me what it means.

*bows* No need for applause.

(Hey, at leat she didn't *already* know what it meant!)
erbie: (edgarpiller)
The scene: Driving to a local coffee house to get coffee with Bob

Interior of car

Bob is looking at a random piece of paper upon which she has drawn two lines. She notices a very tiny green caterpiller crawling on it.

Bob: Aaaagh! Mama! A worm!
Me: What? Where?
Bob: On the paper! Aaaaaagh!
Me: Okay, give it to me. [looks] That's not a worm, it's a caterpiller.

I take it from her and, not wanting to just dump it out in the street to a certain death, find a place to pull over and put it on a bush. We then continue on our way.

Bob: I don't like caterpillers!
Me: Why not? They turn into butterflies.

[discussion of caterpillers, moths, butterflies, what type of butterfly or moth that particular caterpiller would turn into, involving speculation on what type of butterfly a pink caterpiller with yellow spots would turn into.]

[Arrival at coffee house, parking car, getting out and walking toward the building]

[Bob is wiping her eyes on the corner of my jacket]

Me: Why are you wiping your eyes on my jacket?
Bob: [obviously] My hands are dirty! I touched the caterpiller!
Me: Caterpillers aren't all that dirty sweetie.
Bob: [exasperated] Uh! It's friends with the slug!
erbie: (wtf)
This morning, I put on my jeans, a white Old Navy polo-style shirt and a magenta fleece v-neck sweater. I was looking in the mirror, fixing my collar when my five year old wandered in to the room to admire herslef in the mirror. She got in between me and the mirror, looked at herself, did a couple of poses and then pronounced herself looking "like a high school girl" in her skirt, starry tights, and long-sleeved shirt with striped cami over it. She then deigned to look up at me, pointed to my white collar sticking out of my sweater and said "That doesn't look good. It makes you look Scottish."
erbie: (ack)
I'm in the living room. The rest of the family has gone to the bedroom to put on Robin Hood before bed. I hear my husband say a commonly used expletive for solid waste. My five year old then pipes up with "Shit? Shit. This is not the occasion to say 'shit'!"

At least she has her priorities right.
erbie: (cassatt)
Happy fifth birthday to my baby girl, the one who made me a Mama. Five years ago right now, I was in the hospital, tired, but happy, and you were 12 hours old. I was happy just to look at your beautiful face and dream about the future you. Now you're five, and you're starting Kindergarten next week. Five years has gone by in a flash. Next month you'll be in college, it seems. Now you have a baby sister who you adore and who adores you already. You're a bright, funny, sweet, beautiful child, and I look forward to seeing you grow and change. I love you, my little Bug.


May. 21st, 2006 11:30 am
erbie: (smilecat)
Last night, Bob was requesting a certain Sarah McLachlan song in the car thusly:

"Please serve up an order of Stupid!"

Today, while playing alphabet Go Fish with her daddy:

"I've been dying to get rid of this 'I'!"
erbie: (sphappy)
[ profile] fairoriana and [ profile] skarppsey, thank you for all the goodies for Bob and Edgar! I know Bob is going to be so excited to get a big sister gift when she gets home from school today. And we can't wait to see Edgar in all those cute clothes and to read her that book.
erbie: (smilecat2)
My daughter just told me she's pregnant too, and her husband's name is Marthdan Looter King.
erbie: (wtf)
My daughter appears to be singing a Japanese pop song.
erbie: (cassatt)
Bob was apparently dreaming about food this morning. She was whining a little and said "But I don't LIKE raisins!" About 5 minutes later, she was almost crying and she said "I don't have any food! I don't have anything on my plate." I told her I'd get her something and then I said "Here you go, here's some food" and then she quieted down and slept more. Poor kid. First she's getting raisins, which she doesn't like, and then she has no food.


erbie: (Default)

February 2011

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