erbie: (sphuh)
[personal profile] erbie
I really can't stand Dear Prudence. And yet, once again, I'm reading her column. I think in the first question, she pretty much gets it right, for once. Aside from the first sentence of her answer (unless she's talking about the writer, not the person she's writing about. It's not really clear.

Young adult is offended by late-30s woman not acting decrepit and daring to have a career in a "youth-oriented business."

What the hell? Since when is being in one's late 30s and acting like a young, vibrant, successful person creepy? I have friends that range in age from early 20s to late 70s, and at work, there's no difference between how I relate to them based on that. I predict a short career at their current employer for "Young and Able" if they're planning on confronting someone with their age and being all offended about it.

Maybe I just don't get it because I'm a creepy 42 year old who still acts the same as she did in her 20s and thinks she can be friends with a 20 year old.


on 2010-04-23 07:13 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
Sometimes I think Prudence is spot on, and other times just way off.

In this case, she really is right on, though. The letter-writer is crazy. I think the difference is between being youthful and vibrant, regardless of age (or career), and the kind of pathetic, trying-too-hard, not-pulling-off-cute, or age-inappropriate, or whatever behavior that the LW imagines of this person. Clearly, this woman, regardless of her chronological age, was acting in a way that no one else seemed was out of place or inappropriate UNTIL this one snarky a-hole discovered her OMG TRUE AGE!!!

on 2010-04-23 08:02 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
Yeah, sounds to me like her crimes were being successful in a youth-oriented field and looking and seeming younger than she actually is. Oh the horror!

I'm thinking the letter-writer is a bit jealous, since they're only a year out of college and doing promotional work, and that woman is a successful morning show host.

on 2010-04-23 07:16 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
Oh, no, no, it's okay to be a vibrant 42-year-old. Just not to be a 42-year-old of any description who dares to work in a "youthful" industry. No publishing, fashion, television, movies, media, marketing, or ads for you.

on 2010-04-23 08:00 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
Hmm, good thing I got my web job then. I was in publishing before that. How dare I?

on 2010-04-23 08:18 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
You're a horrible woman, pretending to be all young and hip and competent and shit, taking jobs from the ACTUAL young people who should be working in public capacities or at jobs where people might SEE them or be INFLUENCED by them...

on 2010-04-24 08:40 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
I know! TWO jobs that shouldn't be inhabited by anyone over 28!

on 2010-04-24 01:57 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
28?! Wow, you're progressive. I thought all life ceased at 24.

on 2010-04-23 07:54 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]

I have a colleague who is over 40 with 2 late-teens/early-20s kids. You would never guess it from looking at her. She should seriously bottle and sell whatever she's got. I too fail to see how this is weird and creepy.

The letter-writer needs a grip. We can only hope she learns the error of her ways by the time she's pushing 40... or sooner. The appropriate response is at most an "OMG, you're how old? I would never have guessed!" and then MOVE ON with your life.

on 2010-04-23 07:59 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
The appropriate response is at most an "OMG, you're how old? I would never have guessed!" and then MOVE ON with your life.

ITA. I get that all the time, since I don't really act like people expect a 42 year old to act, I'm interested in things that people don't associate with people my age, etc. But all I ever get is "Wow, I thought you were closer to 33 or so."

on 2010-04-23 08:07 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
I don't even know how to begin. It just seems like a ridiculous sort of thing to get all upset about. I don't remember ever being that agist, even when I was stupid and 22 like the letter writer. Maybe I always had older friends, maybe I understood that time was fleeting.

ETA: Not to mention that the writer needs to get the fuck out of radio if she doesn't understand that Everything in the entertainment industry is manufactured, including the personas of pretty much every personality out there.
Edited on 2010-04-23 08:32 pm (UTC)

on 2010-04-24 08:39 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
Yeah, even when I was first starting out in the working world, I made friends with the "older" people, who were younger than I am now. It is a really stupid thing to get so upset about. And that person sounds genuinely upset.

And yeah, that person needs to take a look at their chosen profession if they want an environment where people are "real."

on 2010-04-23 08:40 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
I didn't know your exact age.

Now we can't be friends.

on 2010-04-24 08:35 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
I know, right? After being enlightened by that person, I'm dumping all my friendships that have more than a three year age difference either way. Since my husband is included in that, we'll be splitting up as well.

on 2010-04-24 12:31 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
Seriously. I work in a profession where some distance between people not much younger than myself is imperative, but it's entirely related to a) their status as legal minors and b) the power imbalance. Once they graduate, that distinction is gone. And even when I'm their teacher, I treat them as adults; I just maintain a professional distance similar to the one I maintain with my (very close in age) doctor.


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